I just loled so hard when I read this. Check it out x)
Background story: The story is set during World War 1 from the perspective of the Russians. An army deserter and a boy caught looting a dead German pilot's corpse get thrown together by a twist of fate and now they have to find a dozen eggs for the colonel who promised to spare their lives if they could. Now the question is, where do they find eggs in a city where people eat bread which main ingredient is sawdust? And so the search begins.
After many hardships, they finally do find a chicken. Now this is the funny part :)
An excerpt from City of Thieves, by David Benioff:
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"The apartment door opened and Timofei, one of the surgeons I'd met the previous night, walked over to warm his hands by the stove. When he noticed Darling sitting in her nesting box, he crouched and inspected her, his hands on his knees.
"Where did this come from?"
"Kolya and Lev got him from a boy near the Narva Gate."
Timofei stood and grinned at us. He pulled two large onions from the pockets of his overcoat.
"Got these at the hospital. Wasn't planning on sharing but seems to me we've got the possibility of a beautiful soup tonight.
"Darling's not for the pot," said Kolya. "We need her for the eggs."
"The eggs?" Timofei looked at us, at Darling, back to us. He seemed to think we were joking.
"Everyone's quitting on Darling," Kolya continued, "but I think she's got it in her. Do you know anything about chickens? You think she can lay a dozen by Thursday?"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
The surgeon seemed more and more irritated. Kolya glared back at him, insulted by the man's tone.
"Don't you speak Russian? We're waiting for the eggs!"
For a moment, I thought the conversation would turn violent, which would have been a bad thing for the Red Army; we needed our surgeons and Kolya would have splattered the man with a single punch. But Timofei finally laughed, shaking his head, waiting for us to laugh with him.
"Laugh all you want," I told him. "You're not touching the chicken."
"It's not a chicken, you idiot. It's a rooster."
Kolya hesitated, not sure if this was a joke the surgeon was playing or a trick to get us to throw Darling into the soup. I leaned forward in my chair and peered at the bird. I don't know why I though peering would help. What was I looking or, little balls?
"You're saying she won't lay eggs?" asked Kolya, watching Timofei carefully.
The surgeon spoke slowly, as if her were conferring with morons.
"It's a he. And the odds aren't good."
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I swear I rofled ok! If you didn't it's either because I'm half insane due to the looming threat of exams, or you just need to read the book to the the full effect of lols about this. It's books like these that make you feel grateful for the food on your table and for the luxury of the very computer you're viewing this with. Haha, anyways, back to reading. Non-study related it may be, but it's better than not reading.
