Life

We take on many different things in life. Some new, totally unfamiliar and totally out of our comfort zone. Something so unfamiliar, so disconcerting, but at the same time, so exciting. And the whole time you think, "Could this be the start of something new?" Well, you'll find out what at the other end of the rainbow if you stick with it long enough =) Let's hope it's something good!

It's Been A While

You only miss the water when it's gone, and when it is, you're reminded of peace and loneliness, the two sides of the coin called solitude and you realize one thing: Nothing is to be taken for granted.

Just a little something from me to us.

Though blood may be thicker than water,
And wine more bitter than gin,
If you hear distant chatter and a howling holler,
That'd be us making a din,

Time flows on and faces pass,
But the bonds we forged are there to last,
Of you all, nothing more I would ask,
But a meet in the future for one more laugh,

Ken turns up looking like a bear,
Eme whirls round and shoots him a glare,
Yimay appears with style and flair,
Rujin smiles her demure smile so true,
And surprise surprise,
Angie shows up in not purple but blue!

Glowing splinters relighted, rekindled anew,
Old flames burn bright and we chat over stew,
The night flies by and inevitably we part,
But each of you know, you have a place in my heart.

----------------------------------------------------

I'm nowhere near as good as Angie, but haha, here it is. My cheers to friendship =)

Imma happy today =)

Because I got to prank someone =) Double prank actually. I pranked someone into thinking I was pranking her but led her on to believe that I was actually not pranking her but was pretending that I was pranking her but in the end I revealed the prank and pranked her =) Understand that? I doubt so, but it does make sense if you read it carefully =X

"Oi! What you guys doing?! I'm warning you, stop it now!"

"Stop grinning at me like that!"

Okay fine, it wasn't exactly a prank, it was more of a surprise, but still, I had fun x) And I'd like to extend my gratitude to the hottest girl in A52(A) for giving me the oppurtunity through her great idea =) Lol x) It's nice to know I haven't lost my edge in at least ONE thing xD

And since I'm so happy today, I shall share one of my all time fav songs with you guys =)
Warning: Pwnage guitar chords ensue. Not for the elderly, those with heart diseases and infants.

Hirano Aya - God Knows...
English Translation:

I run past you with a parched heart.
I'm sorry I couldn't do anything.
You wouldn't even let me
Share the pain with you.

In order to live on purely, without looking back
I turn my back and leave
on the lonely rail

I'll be right behind you.
Even through the most bitter darkness of the world,
you will definitely shine.
And at the end of the future
To stop your spirit from breaking due to weakness
my way, converges with yours and now,
The both of us may God bless...

Please reach, my burning passion
melts reality and wanders aimlessly.
There is no reason for the feeling that makes me miss you so,
But it overflows towards you, I'm Lovin' you.

At least, while painting beautiful dreams
let's chase after them
for your lonely heart.

Stop it, lying isn't like you.
Look in my eyes and let's speak of the future
I've already made my resolve.
Even for a dark future,
Just become strong and you may be able to change fate
my wish, as much as I want it granted,
Only God knows...

You're here, and I'm here-
The others have somehow disappeared.
As we sketch the wonder of a fleeting dream
We trace our scars too.

And so, I'll be right behind you.
Even through the most bitter darkness of the world,
you will definitely shine.
And at the end of the future
To stop your spirit from breaking due to weakness
my way, converges with yours and now,
The both of us may God bless...

Cheers =)

P.S. Bio today wasn't as bad as any of us imagined it'd be........ I
wonder if she was just in a bad mood yesterday or has she given
up on us already. lol.

Nuts....

You know what? The more I write the more I lose confidence in myself. How ironic is that? XD

True Tears

Tears, in all basicity are just water. 70% of the human body is made up of water, so it's probably no surprise that it's no difficult feat to cry. All of us have cried tears before, but have you cried true tears?

True tears are tears which spring forth from the heart, but none other than the true heart.

To get by in today's world, societal norms often require us to restrain our true selves to uphold an image in society. To be something you are not, to say something you do not mean, is in other words, to lie. But the world is built on lies and life is just a grand facade. Ever had a guilty pleasure? Something that you know you'd be frowned upon by those around you if they ever found out?

Day after day we put on masks and parade ourselves around the city as if it's the natural thing to do. We change ourselves to fit in and lie to impress. When we look in the mirror, we aren't even true to ourselves. Then I ask you, where does the true self lie when you aren't even true to yourself?

The human heart is a fragile one. We never fully let our guard down, sometimes even around the nearest and dearest. There's nobody who knows yourself like you do. It's only a matter of whether you accept what you see in its entirety, whether you like it or not.

Ever had a secret you never told anyone, or something you feel you just can't tell anyone? Deep-seated feelings like resent, loneliness or guilt? And the closer people try to get to subjects like these, the more you tend to reject them. But hypocrisy is an intrinsic quality of the world's workings. The more you reject them, the more you actually want them to find out.

Lay a trail of breadcrumbs while batting them away, desperately trying to show them what's beneath the farce. You really want to share it with someone, someone who understands, someone you can trust. And the moment that someone breaks the final barrier, the final mask you wear, only is the true heart to be seen, and tears spring forth instantaneously whether you like it or not, and those are true tears. Tears, cried not from the head, but from the heart.

It doesn't take much. Just one sentence would do. "All this while you were just lonely weren't you?" or "Don't worry, no matter what happens, I'll be there for you." I've seen true tears, just once. I've cried true tears, just one. Have you?

About yesterday's post....

It was just horribly incoherent. I was honestly quite distressed yesterday. I wanted to say something in that post but ended up not doing so, because it isn't really my place to do so. Writing isn't something to be done when not in a calm state of mind. I probably didn't make much sense, so sorry to those who took the time to read it lol.

Anyways, I feel 'stellar' today too. Been horribly sluggish the whole day. I blame it on the fact that I got too much sleep. Yes, too much. Whenever I get >10 hours of sleep per 24 hours, I turn horribly slow. Don't ask me why, it just is. And you know what? Getting back the Bio test didn't really help either. Ms. Foong isn't really one for mercy. I felt like I was strewn on the ground like overnight streamers from the party last night, rolled over by an army tank and burned strand by measly strand.

"From this I know that none of you will do well in Unit 5 and Unit 6. This is not going to end well. I can assure you of that."

Well, great that you're so confident about it. Kudos to you. It's like my dignity was ripped apart shred by shred and fed to sharks. What's worse is the sharks didn't even like it. They spit it out and decided to chew on the carrot she was dangling from a fishing rod instead. Good grief.

Okay, nevermind. I think this whole 'getting too much sleep' thing really got to me. Maybe everything isn't as bad as it seems to me today. Remind me to get LESS sleep today. Cheers~

I Believe

Warning : This is a TL;DR post. Not for the casual reader. Unless you're really free. You should be studying.

You know what? I just cut my hair, after saying I had to about 3 weeks ago. And you know what? I happen to think it's fugly. But heck, who cares? My niche in society is definitely not 'the cool one' or 'the handsome one' so a bad haircut or two won't make much difference x_x

On another note, I had LAN Moral today. Can everyone say yay? Thank you =) It was so fun i tell you. I'm serious this time. Class ended at 5.15 when it's supposed to end at 7. I was like...... Whoa, is today a fantastic day or what? Anyways, the topic discussed today in Moral was the Principle of Existentialism.

Let's get down to business:
Existentialism: a chiefly 20th century philosophical movement embracing diverse doctrines but centering on analysis of individual existence in an unfathomable universe and the plight of the individual who must assume ultimate responsibility for acts of free will without any certain knowledge of what is right or wrong or good or bad (Again, couresty of www.m-w.com =) )

What's not to love about this? It speaks the truth in a nutshell. Ever wonder what's the meaning of life? This is the answer: Nothing. Life has no meaning. We just exist because we do. Essence after existence. Existence superceding purpose.

Satre states that "Man is the future of himself" and "Man is nothing else besides his plan; he exists only to the extent that he fulfills himself; he is therefore nothing else than the ensemble of his acts, nothing else that his life."

All in all, existentialism denies the existence of God. Now me, not being particularly committed to any religion of any sort would normally have no bone to pick with this. But I must say. I disagree. I rarely take a stand. But on this, I disagree.

Why so? Maybe I'm naive, maybe I'm superstitious, maybe I'm biased towards believing in the metaphysical. But you know what? Most people wander through life without noticing the little signs and pointers on the way. They may not be neon signs in the pitch black of night, but they're definitely there, for God works in curious ways. This, I know from experience.

An exerpt from Mitch Albom, For One More Day:

-------------------
It's like this line is drawn somewhere in the world and if you never cross it, you'll never consider throwing yourself off a building or swallowing a bottle of pills, but if you do, you might. ..... The truth is, there is no line. There's only your life, how you mess it up, and who is there to save you.

Or who isn't.

-------------------

I'm not afraid to say I've messed up more times in my life than I can count, but what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. And I am proud to say I'm way stronger than I was way back then. I've fought with friends, caused rifts in cliques. Not once, not twice, but thrice. One astronomical, one severe, one superficial.

The thing is, with me, when things get rough like this, I get really down in the dumps, and I can't hide it. It just shows on my face and in everything I do apparently. You feel like your world's been uprooted and hung upside down, and everything just falls apart. But still, not all was lost. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. God sent me angels, not once, but twice. And indeed, save me they did.

Signs come in many shapes and sizes, in all sorts of disguises. For me, they're in everything I see, everything I do. A song I just happened to randomly download helped me through a rough patch.

You're the reason for the teardrops on my guitar,
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart.
Taylor Swift - Teardrops On My Guitar.

Directly related? No. Did it help? Yes. It really got me thinking. And before I knew it, I gathered my resolved and scampered off into uncharted territory.

There was also another time, where I got involved in a huge tiff between friends. It was bad. Calls weren't answered, messages weren't replied, but we persevered and light shone through. I received an email at 3:11am. And attached to it was a favourite bible verse of hers, Corinthians 3:11.

It's small things like these that make me believe in the divine. A friend once told me, "Sure. Whatever rocks your boat. You see what you want to see in things." Point accepted. But still, does it matter whether they're actually signs or not? Even if it wasn't meant to be a sign but it pointed you in the right direction, by accident or not, it is still a sign, no?

I'd like to quote Raven's Nest:
God, to me, is pure Love. He/She/It could care less if I'm fat or even greedy or if I lose my temper when I'm tired. Even if I don't approve of or love myself... even if my mother didn't... God loves me all the time simply because that's who/what God is. Sins, I think, are a human invention. The only thing that's truly sinful in my view is being unloving, because being unloving disconnects you from LOVE (though even that doesn't disconnect LOVE from you).

And it is because of this guiding hand that I believe that there is, in fact a purpose for us. Something we were meant to do, born to do. Based on what? That's not important. But, I believe. Do you?

Meringue

I just saw it. I've been linked on Angie's blog. It's such an honor, it brings tears to my eyes! And my tag is meringue, pronounced meh-rang. Not meh-ring-guay :) - a dessert topping consisting of a baked mixture of stiffly beaten egg whites and sugar (definition courtesy of www.m-w.com. Gotta love that site :D)

Yumm. Looks tantalising, no? :)
ohcrapwhatthehellamIdoinghere? Studybiodammit!
.... And there's still that phys homework.....
Ohhh, gawd. I.am.so.dead xD

When you stay up an extra hour

Just to slay a Purple Gypceros, you know you're beyond salvation.

Oh, btw, this is a Gypceros ><

My Wonderful Cousin You Never Knew I Had.

Okay, so have I told you guys I'm actually half Arabian before? Well, yes, I am. And I have an Arabian cousin. Lo and behold, my favourite cousin. Al-Jibra! This is a baby photo of him!!!

I used to bully him, pinch his cheeks and laugh at him all the time! Ain't he cuuuute? =)


Well, I regret that now.

Lookit him. Big, bad, mean..... And he really packs a punch. I met him today for the first time in a long time (not really) but yeah, I tried to insult him but he socked me in the eye. And it still hurts now =(

On a more serious note, I filmed "Running In the Rain II" yesterday. On top of that, the producers gave me this wonderful souvenir! A nice incision wound about 5cm long on my arm. Yay =) It really hurt for a while, and to top it all off, I took 1.5 hours to get home. Stupid rain. Stupid traffic jams. Stupid me for trying to save RM1.50 by not getting on the highway. On the plus side, I got to drive behind a really great guy!

He has good taste :)

Last but not least, random piccy =)

AEON Setiwangsa AU2, Ampang. I love the night view x)

I swear my life is too boring. Someone give me something good to write about or I'll die an uninspired fool.

You'll Never Walk Alone =)

4-1!!! FOUR TO ONE! THE REDS HAVE TRAMPLED THE RED DEVILS, YEAH :)

Things you never got to do and stuff you never got to say

Yeah, on the subject of rummaging through my house, I found another few interesting trinkets I'd forgotten about a long time ago. A little stuffed dog in a plastic bag found a new home on my shelf. A plethora of souvenirs from China were unearthed. But most nostalgic of all was this:

Haha, lookit that, clumsy and homemade from head-to-toe x) It was form 3 if I'm not mistaken. A Christmas present :)

Open the wrapping and whaddaya get? A lil container made of manila card. Haha, it was hard for me to get out of the house and buy a present at that time. What's inside it I wonder?

Haha, wow, a stand made of satay sticks covered with coloured straws, held together with thread. Heh, see the huge yellow smiley face? So corny x) Let's examine it closer shall we?

Seven strips of paper in the colours of the rainbow, with a little green bead in the centre (you can't see it, but its there) strung together with needle and thread. And a little tail with another 3 green beads, and a transparent flag made of cello tape x)

And inside the smiley face,


Haha, aww. I blanked out the name(s). Malu la Xp Seriously, the stuff I did ><

But I really did want to give this to her. I guess part of the reason was that I was shy. It doesn't look very good and I was afraid it would look out of place under the Christmas tree x) The other is, well, the chance was really hard to come by. And I never have the courage to take that extra step.

Lesson learnt: Always take that extra step whenever it is necessary. I've spent loads of my life cowering under the sheets wondering what would have happened if I had taken that extra step. Well, don't.

I really do.

You know what? I suddenly had this overwhelming urge to read through my high school essays again. I looked through my whole house trying to find at least one. And well, I did. Find one, that is. It wasn't one of my best works, but it was nostalgic.

Come to think of it, I miss learning English. I miss writing. I miss the times after we get back our composition papers and we'd sit in circles reading each others' essays. And probably most of all, I miss Pn. Jugdeep, the first person to ever recognise me in high school and make English fun, for all of us. I wonder what it'd have been like if I had a proper English teacher to guide me from the beginning. I wonder what it'd be like if I had pursued writing for a career. I wonder, I really do. Because I love writing, I really do.

Exam Results.

And so I arrive at Pusat Bandar Damansara at 9.00am, nervous. After all, this was the moment of truth: Was the problem S****l, or was it just.... me? Knowing myself the best, I'm as lazy as they come. Everything was riding on this.

Well yeah, I got off relatively unscathed. Results were pretty good. And I thank my lucky stars that they weren't bad. Or I wouldn't be able to face my mom when I got home.

But... as for this......

I can't push the blame on anyone.

This was caused by none other than me. So, yeah. I swear right here. No more last minute studying, no burning the midnight oil. Units 5 & 6 are not pushovers. It's been a wake up call for many of us, and this is mine. An X, small to you, but bigger than anything else on this paper to me.

To everyone else, smiles okay? If you did great, then.... great , keep it up ;) If you didn't do that well, then cheer up, we all did our best right? And if that best isn't good enough, we'll all work together to better our bests! :) Remember that,

Nobody who works hard deserves to be put down.
It isn't the results that count,
It is the path which led to the results,
For only through blood, sweat and tears will we realize how much we've grown when we finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Then we shall bask in the sunlight.
So, hold your head high and pride yourself in where your efforts have brought you and you shall achieve excellence.
Not just on paper, but also in spirit.

Mirrors.

The worst of the flaws of humankind is probably the fact that our eyes are on the front of our heads....... In that, we are unable to look at ourselves. Hypocrisy arises when you judge another for a flaw which you were unaware you had. Hence, mirrors are probably mankind's greatest invention, fixing our greatest flaw.



So, yeah, people, before life gives you that mean little tap on the hand and forces you to look in the mirror, check your reflection everyday, while you still recognise who's reflected in it. I probably owe some people apologies.

When You.....

Are up at 3:43am after nearly missing class because you slept at 4:30am the day before for nearly the EXACT same reason, you know you're messed up x_x

But then again, it's not really due to the game. I was watching American Idol till 2:30. I predict a Danny vs Adam finals :) Alexis is hot, but rockers usually don't make it very far. Sad, but true :( I like Alexis. Did I mention I like Alexis? I like Alexis :)

Never sleep at 4.30am just.......

Trying to mimic this,




*evades disapproving looks from female peers* Or you'll end up oversleeping the next day and not being able to find parking :S Thank goodness for Angie and Ken, my saviors for the day :) Sigh, what would I do without you guys XD

And....

Since I'm still in the "Worship ef-memo" mode, I give you its opening song for your listening pleasure! :) My blu-ray quality ef-memo DL jumped from 30% to 60% overnight. I'm happy :)


Euphoric Field(English) - Tenmon feat. Elisa

Why am I standing alone in the twilight
Let me go, no more lonely nights
I take a deep breath under the hazy sky
Feel like losing, but it's gonna be alright

Break through the night, go and try to fight
Don't be afraid, now is the time

Be alive, take it
I surely feel my heartbeat
There's no limit to my reach
I say good-bye to my tears that I don't need
So believe in my dream

Don't look back to the sorrow I left behind
Here's my real intention I hide
I wish you were here, and so just right by my side
Need to be strong enough to swallow my pride

I have been looking for my own style
Don't give it up, here comes the life

Be alive, take it
I have learned a great deal
Brighten our sweet memories
Hope there will be a future for you and me
So believe in your dream

Be alive, take it
Promise to find, yes I will
Shining wings filled with wishes
Fly high, make it
Get to the new world that I seek
Someday, so I believe

------------------------------------------

Grammar leaves something to be desired, yes, but hell, I like it :P

A tribute to the greatest anime of all time.

Memory. The most precious thing on Earth in my humble opinion. Memories define who we are. Memories tell us who we are. Memory is what records our fleeting existence during our short visit to this planet. Memories remind us of things we do not want to remember. Memories also remind us of all the things we'd never want to forget. What is memory? I ask you again. What is memory? Memory is life.

And the greatest anime on Earth to date is without a doubt:

What would you do if you were caught up in an accident years ago and that accident took nothing away from you. Absolutely nothing, except your ability to record memories. We find ourselves in the shoes of Chihiro, our protagonist in which she can only retain memories for up to 13 hours after which they are instantly erased. She'd take breakfast at 7am every morning, but by 8:01pm at night, she'd have forgotten that she even had breakfast. She goes to sleep at night and wakes up a different person, back to who she was when she was 10.

"Yesterday's me and today's me are two different people. It has always been this way, and it will always be this way."

And that's only the beginning. What if you meet someone today? You'd forget him tomorrow. You'd hurt someone. And not only once, but over and over again. Such is the fate of our heroine. However, there's still hope for her. A link to the future. The knot that ties "today's her" and "yesterday's her" together: Her diary. Every morning when she wakes up, she reads her diary. And she only writes the most important things to her in there, the bare essentials to remind her of who she is.

She spends her time everyday in an abandoned train station, just gazing at the sky. Until one fateful day, she met him. And they grow closer with each passing day. Now, what happens if you gain more memories you do not want to forget?

Her caretaker's advice to the boy:

"Don't get too deeply involved with her. You'll only end up hurting her, and yourself"

What happens when you find someone you love? You never want to lose a moment with them. What if "never losing a moment with them" is not something you're physically capable of? What if you try to take more than what you were given?

What happens is,
It All Falls Apart.

Ef - a tale of memories, a tale of love, found and lost. A tale of hope, granted on a whim and whiffed away on the next. And what's more is, this is only half the story. Two stories run concurrently in this series, and the execution is flawless, causing absolutely no confusion in between and guaranteed to awe. A must watch.

”忘れたくない想い、ありますか？”
－Do you have memories you'd never want to forget? -

Sigh, I so love this show okay? Lookit this pweedy Blu-Ray disc set!

If I could ever have this tim would be such a happy camper D: But let's not get lofty dreams. RM1200 is alot :( Sigh, ahwells :(

Friends

Friends, they share your parking fee with you when you have to pay more than the usual 3 bucks per day as if it's a natural thing to do.

Friends, you share a large part of your life with them just spending time together.

Friends, always make you laugh with meaningless banter.

Friends, always there to make the day a little better :)


Oh, and one special friend, never call her by her full name. Unless you want 50 bucks in your car x_x You're getting it back. I swear x_x And Rujin, I owe you lunch ;)

I end this post with a song I learnt from Angie!

F is for friends, we do stuff together,
U is for you and me~
N is for anywhere and anything at all, under the deep blue sea~

You rule Angie :) You really do. Just stop leaving money in my car :P

Oh, and also.....

Lookie here. My current pride and joy which tells me I haven't been spending the past 4 years studying Japanese for nothing :)


Granted the scores aren't anything fantastic


But still, it's this that counts :)

Oh, and...

Yes, most probably this'll be my new blog (if I decide to be hardworking enough to upkeep it x_x). Expect posts albeit too serious for the casual reader interlaced with mindless babbling of a teenager and a slice of a seventeen-year-old's life.

Vengeance

Revenge, all too common.

"I SWEAR I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE."

Revenge, is all consuming.

"Nothing matters to me more than this."

Revenge, is but...... a means of escape.

"I did it! Mama... Papa... I've finally avenged you!"

What lies at the end of revenge,

She laughs alone where nobody is watching. The smile she had thrown away so long ago resurfaces again. The childlike innocence in her laughter resounds throughout the room.

"Mama, Papa... Where are you?"

Frantic eyes search the room, but there's no one there.

"I succeeded.... I finally succeeded.... So, praise me"

Her voice cracks as she says this.

"Say that I did a good job... Please?"

Tears flow down her cheeks and a cry of anguish breaks the silence of the lonely night.

Is emptiness.

- Inspiration from Gundam 00 - Episode 21

Seal thy lips and lock thy heart,
But do remember we'll never part.
Through pain and fear and sorrow true,
Bring to light what thy can't undo,
And I'll be there with a smile for you.

-Tim (8/3/09)